From a few days ago:

I’ve been trying to find ways to despite Bali to all of you guys, because I haven’t been quite as good at staying to touch as I promised. Its harder to do anything here, I have to find a mini bus to the next town to send a letter, which then take two weeks to get there, and I only get the internet a couple times a week and once I do, I’m totally overwhelmed. Its like this frantic, information overload and by the end of the hour or so I am totally exhausted but haven’t gotten anything down. This is why I’m sitting on my veranda in Java overlooking the ocean writing this while its still morning and I’m calm enough to tell you about my day yesterday, while basically sums up my whole experience in the last 3 weeks in a nutshell.
Yesterday I got up at 6 am to fly from Bali to the neighboring island of Java, where we’ll be living/taking classes for the next few weeks. As soon as we got in, we headed to the beach on this ridiculous bus that had leaks and cockroaches coming out of the ceiling and hardly enough room for us and our bags. We got to the hotel we stayed last night by the beach, which on the outside looked beautiful and is painted in pastel colors and built so that some of our rooms are part of a national rock wall, but inside of the rooms we found praying mantises and rusty bathrooms with squad toilets and sketchy stains on the sheets.
Then we headed to the beach, where we were the only westerners in bathing suits and a group of sketchy guys tried to film us and the ocean had sea snakes. But then we walked further down the beach and away from everyone and swam in the most GORGEOUS sunset (it was pure bliss) and ate an amazing dinner and then came back home to sleep with the mantises and lizards and coach roaches. (and now I'm in a really nice hotel).
So basically, Indonesia is beautiful and terrifying at the same time. I always feel a little bit alert and exposed, because there are no boundaries between outside and inside, and nature always finds its way to wake me up in the middle of the night. But at the same time I haven’t felt this carefree and not stressed out in a long time. I’m learning to be more flexible, because you simply can’t control basically anything here, and you have to put a lot of your trust into the program leaders and home stay family’s hands and just go with the flow. By the time I get back I’ll be as fucking chill as Higgs.
Well, maybe not that chill.
I love you alllll, come to BALI!!!!
Love,
Amanda

Benvinguda a Barcelona

¡Hola Chicas!

Pues, here I am in Barcelona! I can't put my finger on what exactly it is I feel here but its different, completely different then what I expected. Its a big city where you can be annoynmous if you want to and vice versa. I live with my host mother in a apartment in the hills, literally a two minute walk from Park Güell. I have a big room, nice bed, and a great view, I can actually see the Mediterranean from my window, its crazyness. So far I've been out and am starting to settle in with people in my program. I really want to get in with the locals which I heard isn't the easiest since people here live with their families until like 25. I've found this website, spotted by locals, and think I'm going to try and venture out to some of those places! I need a cozy coffee shop, jazz bar, etc. There is one girl in my group Cat who I get along with fairly well, she's from New Orleans and reminds me of Nay. She is into the whole blending with the locals and just vibing. One thing is for sure that you can be whatever you want here.lol. They make me miss my lip ring! People are hard to categorize and style here is something along sloppy chic which I can appreciate, I more so like that you can look and act however you want and its generally accepted, very laid back attitudes ;)

I think I'm in for a truly life changing semester, from the day I stepped foot in Barcelona I felt uncomfortable and out of my element and I think that's a good thing. I plan in visiting the of Spain to see Oriana, and an old friend of mine is in Madrid, need the well-rounded experience of España since Barcelona really does its own thing!

I miss you all! Skype dates soon!
Un besito y un abrazo,
<3 Dolce

I'm sitting in a cafe in Ubud, which is a town over from my host family. I kind feel like I live a double life here. In Ubud its all of these amazing, trendy but cheap boutiques and super luxurious coffee shops (Illy espresso and high tea!), but its all tourists and no Balinese. I mostly come into town to send emails, here internet is a place, not a state of being. Back home in my homestay, I have this absolutely beautiful guest house (Balinese live in compounds) with a gold and red painted door and my own veranda. Its really simple in the inside, but clean. My ibu (host mom) is a seamstress (its kinda dangerous, I packed more than anyone else already), and I have a 19 year-old host sister. I've been scary lizards and mice size cockroaches and gorgeous temples, and a cockfight, and rice paddies, and a cremation, and in the next few days, I'll go to a wedding and a tooth filing. Its been amazing and overwhelming, I'll write more when I can process it.

Lovelovelove you ALL!

Hey Friendies,

Last day at home, then I start the LOOOOOONG plane ride and land two days later in Bali. For a little while I'll be a rolling stone, a week of orientation in the country (hello rice paddies), some temple hopping in and a week homestay in Java, and then finally I'll settle down in Bedulu, Bali for 2 1/2 months. I'm finally starting to feel those pro-move jitters I always feel, hoping I'll find people I like in my program (I mean really, what kind of white people choose to go to 3rd world countries :/). Mostly I'm just nervous because I have no idea what my life will look like, how much internet access I'll have, what I'll see when I look outside my window, what kind of house I'll live in. But I'm strangely freeing to have no expectations.

I'm more sure than ever this was the right choice. I feel like after two straight years at Williams, without even a break in summer, I've been constantly running and never taking time to stop and think about myself and who I'm becoming. Not that I don't like who I am now, but so much has changed in the last two years, as Hil was saying, and I feel like I haven't even processed it. I want to get to know myself again, be friends with myself, before I can fully give myself to others.

Its also the first move I've had where I'm going to actively miss people's presence in my life. You guys have become my family, and even though I have faith that we'll be okay even if we don't stay in touch, I'm going to challenge myself to connect with each of you, through letters of this blog or an SMS or skype, at least once every few weeks. My internet access might be sketchy and snail mail is a bitch, but you guys are too important to me not to try.

NEXT POST FROM BALI BALI HAAAI!!!

lovelovelovelove,

Exhibit A

Intermission

In the two weeks I have left before I leave this place for something new and unfamiliar I've reflected on the growth within the intermission. I recently finished a few good books and have moved on to some others. In thinking about our time together I've realized we have become and are nothing short of extraordinary. Often you think of how hard others in the world have it and allow it to be the measure of your success and failure, but it is also has the ability to cancel out the achievement one has made. Three years ago we would have never thought this would be our lives, hell we didn't even think we would be and remain friends. Approaching Junior year one of us is leaving for something different, something more of the college expedience we might of all expected and it will add to the stories we will share and the bond that we've created. Two of us are leaving the country for something so unfamiliar that there are no expectations for the future so we are approaching the next step in our lives with eyes wide open. Others are returning the place in which we call home that every year no matter how familiar we think it to be, finds a way to turn us on our heads and re-think it all and not to complicate our lives but to make us realize things can be simple if we let them.

So I sit here and think about the past, present, and future and for some reason it all seems more vivid now then before. Once again I'm realizing that college, more specifically Williams is all about life lessons, how much can you gain about the world in four years in a place that offers it all. After spending so much time away from what I had grown accustomed to I was able to look at things in a clearer form. Its funny how things work themselves out, how in lue of everything you would consider to be the end all be all the light at the end of the tunnel burns brighter as you walk towards it that it is almost blinding. Maybe for everyone this is a major point of reflection, who knows, but I do know I've been healthy and happy both in body and mind. I can only hope that my semester abroad will be just as enlightening. For during this intermission I know what I want out of life, and that is to live it to the fullest and be successful by my own terms. And what exactly that means I don't have to know right now, but I know I'm looking forward to finding out. :)

I guess what I'm saying is take time to reflect, its very humbling. When I run I live for those seconds of a blank mind, the moment of true clarity. No matter how ordinary you think the things you've done in your life so far are, take a second to remember ever mile you have traveled, each meal you've eaten, each person you have known, every conversation you've shared, every room in which you've slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond the imagination, who would have thought? I know I didn't...and to think its only just begun.

<3 Dolce

Butterflies

It's almost August. One month until we're taking care of frosh (or corrupting their innocence), clubbing in Spain (please meet a man that looks like David Villa), exploring a new world in Bali (Eat, Pray, Love?), or creating new bonds in Amherst (expect lots of visits). We've come a long way, ladies.

It's been a crazy summer so far. I finally got my ID and I must say...21 is SOOOO much better than 20! My first night out with it and I thought I was going to have to sleep on a bench in Harvard yard :P I've been having to craft some pretty elaborate lies to go out in the first place, but it's worth it. Totes worth it. I talk to interesting men, they buy me an $8 cocktail, and back to my girls!

Other than illegally drinking and clubbing, I've been working a lot. Both becoming more civically engaged (National Popular Vote passed in MA!), and getting extremely disillusioned with the political system. Hopefully this disillusionment will only give me more drive and motivation...

Things with Iskra are...non-existent. I like him, I think. But there's not a spark between us or butterflies in my stomach. I'm not saying we're not continue to hook up this summer. I'm just saying that I'm gonna be spending a lot of time with Renzie's froshies come the fall.

Which reminds me: When butterflies fall in love, do they feel people in the stomachs?

-LoveJoy

The Return of Iggie

Iggie is back and its never been better! DC has made me realize how much people and time can make you change for better or worse. I became consumed by a person but now love myself the most and I couldn't be happier. As far as pleasing other the people. yeah, if its possible to throw it out the window even more I did. I recently spoke to my old art prof and started sketching again, I will show you all sooon when I get things in order! I've decided that half of high school me, the jock, artsy girl who did what she liked + the college girl who is more aware of the world, has focus, and is about optimism with perspective x the always brutally honest higgs= iggie 2010 and the future! whooo whooo!

Updates!!! I've been working a lot (Nordstrom+Intern) and its taking most of my time but I'm okay with it. I have ventured out a little but have come to the conclusion DC livin isn't for me. The hustle bustle is great when its there but nothing on nyc. Its calmer but not in a chill way. I guess I just don't digg it. So I guess Cali or NY are my options. and well maybe Europe depending on how Spain goes which I am fully anticipating!!! I am also anticipating Disconnect from Desire, and think I check the fader everyday cause it makes me remember the events of Spencer 7!

My newest purchases-Blush in Oasis and the multiple duo in orgasm ;)-Jeans(replacing the old that got altered a little to short, no worries they were freee!)-ring-bracelet-charm-boots(soon to come)! Get use to old iggie/ new for you! The doorknockers will always be around!

September isn't ready for our reunion!
Love ya, and as always keep it classy
Dolce Vita